I wanted to give you all an update on Matthew’s situation. Just recently, almost two months ago, we received notice that Matt would be up for early release in September. His parole officer, there at the prison, was going to file for him to be released early. She filed on the 6th of September and yesterday, the 12th, he was denied. He doesn’t seem to be as upset as I am; I can only guess he has learned to not get his hopes up. Just so everyone knows, Matt’s current date of release will be June 18th, 2010.
I am doing ok with this, I just hurt for my son. Kayden misses his father and I have to work or am in school during the visiting hours, so he hasn’t got to see his dad in a very long time. He does talk to him on the phone, but what kind of relationship is one that is led through phone conversation. Kayden tells his daddy every night that he loves him, he tells his dad what he had done for the day, and before every conversation ends, he asks his daddy when he is going to come home. That is what breaks my heart. It hurts me so bad that he misses his daddy. I try to be both for parents for him but as everyone knows there is a different kind of bond between a father and a son. Kayden asks all the time, where’s my daddy, go see my daddy, daddy comin home, almost everyday. He is getting bigger now and starting to realize that other people have daddies and he doesn’t see his. I thought he would not realize this and we would be safe but I was wrong.
Anyway, on a somewhat positive side, we are doing ok. I am in school 4 days a week, two of those I actually work on patient floors at a hospital. The days I am not in school then I work at a hospital. I love Kayden and my new place and look forward to the day Matt gets to join us there, although I have really liked learning how to hammer and fix stuff. Kayden goes to a home daycare five days a week. He is learning so much there. We are working on potty training. Kayden can count to twenty, knows his ABC’s and can remember directions to almost anywhere he has been. He tells me the way home from daycare and if we go see my dad he can tell me how to get there. He is a true country boy, he loves to be in cowboy boots and overhauls, and just like his dad he has to have a hat on. Most of the time he runs around in a diaper and cowboy boots, it is so cute, I don’t know what I’m going to do when he outgrows his boots, cause he is getting close to it. He loves tractors and farm animals. Every time we see a cow or horses he wants to pull over and look at them and he has a play tractor in his room that he takes everywhere. His hair is still light blond and his eyes have turned hazel. He looks a lot like his dad but got stuck with my light skin tone and my hair color. He did get Matt’s facial expressions and extremely flat feet. I had to go out and buy him expensive Nike shocks so he could have good heel support and soul support. He doesn’t like to wear them that much because he wants to wear his boots all the time. Oh well what can you do, he gets his stubbornness from his dad. His asthma has remained under control through the summer and I am hoping it stays that way on through the winter. Otherwise, he is like most 2 ½ year olds, full of spit and vinegar, and goes, goes, goes, until he crashes.
I am doing ok, as I said before I work everyday or am in school. This 2nd year of nursing school is really tough. I am currently in cardio class and dealing with the heart and lungs. It is a lot to learn and extremely frustrating at times. I am currently looking for a 2nd job. I don’t have much time for one but could use the help financially, so as any parent does I have started looking. Matt says to tell you all hi. He also tells me to tell everyone I know to enjoy every second of their life, to hug and speak to their loved ones on a daily basis because you never know when you won’t be able to do that, and you will never want to experience not being able to hold the ones you love close.